Batpig Breaks Out!
by PhoenixFire Lia
Summary: Batpig's bullied at a hero convention?! He won't stand for it, and he won't let Pane destroy the city! Appearances by the winners of the long-past Batpig contest, plus many heroes.


Batpig Breaks Out

The Caped Crusader like you've never seen him before.

            Gotham City is still screwed, need I say more? And the clip of the day is all of Davis's narrations for Tamers, which are really, really terrible. I'm sorry, but they are. Anyway, we go to Turkey Wall Manor, where Biyomon is standing in the hallway, listening in as Wizardmon got chewed out over the phone. 

"Yes, Sir. No, Sir. I don't know. Yes, yes Sir. Mm-hmm. Same to you."

The pink bird cocked her head inquisitively. "Who was that?"

Wizardmon sighed. "Gennai."

"Since when do you have phone conversations with Gennai?"

"Since he found out Lia's up and vanished," the mage replied tartly. 

"Huh? Whaddya mean she's vanished?"

"I mean just that. She left home one night and hasn't come back. She didn't even say goodbye to me! Says a nice tearful farewell to her parents but diddlysquat to me!" 

Biyomon frowned. "Could she have run away?"

"Why would she? Besides, I heard from that infernal lizard-dog that his wretched human took off as well."

"Matt's gone too? Do you think he and Lia eloped?"

Wizardmon's eyes flashed with cold fire. "Lia is barely sixteen! They can't elope!"

            Patamon suddenly bounded into the room. "Cantaloupe? Where?"

"No, can't elope, not cantaloupe," Wizardmon corrected irritably. 

"Can't elope, cantaloupe, it's all produce to me," Patamon sighed. "But what's a cantaloupe have to do with anything?"

"Wizardmon thinks Matt and Lia eloped because they're gone," Biyomon informed their porcine leader. 

"WHA?!" Patamon shrieked. "If they're gone, that means Reo probably left with them which means no Alliance which means the next time somebody decides to waltz right out of Archam we're SCREWED!" 

Joe, the ever-faithful butler, came around the corner with his feather duster. 

"Shouldn't you three get going? You'll be late for the annual Gotham City Superhero Convention."

Patamon smacked his head with his stubby little hand. "I forgot about that dumb thing. Why do we even bother going? We just get made fun of every year."

"It's a publicity stunt. Besides, maybe this year the X-Men won't try and use you for target practice because you stole Nightcrawler's cheese log," Biyomon said pointedly. 

"Olga told me I was her one and only…before she ran off with that snooty bratwurst," Patamon replied. 

Wizardmon rolled his eyes in disdain. "Let's just go."

~*~

            Ah yes, the annual Gotham City Superhero Convention, where any and every superhero airs out their best pair of pantyhose and gathers for a meeting of villain-free revelry and relaxation. All those great brand-name superheroes that have their faces on lunchboxes show up to make fun of the not widely known groupies. Now, one may ask why there is no trouble in Metropolis or wherever you may hail, and that's because there's generally a villain convention going on at the same time where the greatest evil masterminds and their lackeys sit down and diss each other's stupid plots for global domination while burning effigies of the heroes they so despise. And there's snacks, so you can't go wrong.   

            "Ah, smell that, you guys? It's the great stink of heroism!" Patamon sighed happily as he threw the double doors of the conference hall open. 

"Actually, I think those are Wolverine's tights," Biyomon sniffed. 

Wizardmon rolled his eyes with disgust. "Here it comes."

"Well, well, if it isn't the Batpig losers! Come back again this year for another helping of whoop-ass?" the Human Torch taunted. 

"It's, like, really pathetic when we're breathing the same air as a fuzzy pot roast that totally thinks he's a superhero!" Shadow Cat whined, munching on a pretzel. 

            Our heroes (the Batpig crew, not all heroes present) tried to suck it up and take things like proper monsters, but when Aqua-Man unleashed his undersea friends on them…which happened to be a cocktail shrimp platter…it was really the straw that broke the camel's back. Wizardmon dragged his compadres out the door and behind the nearest potted palm tree for a little meeting. 

"I don't know about you two, but I'm getting rather fed up of being treated like a geek by a bunch of men in tights and women with more cleavage than Angewomon!" 

Biyomon nodded. "But what are we going to do about it, Wizardmon? We're digimon, they're all, for the most part, human! And we're from Japan, which makes it all the more wrong. Did you see how they treated the Sailor Scouts three years ago? They scarred Luna and Artemis for life! I don't know about you, but I'm just going home and watching the Home Shopping Network."

"But we _can't _give up! They'll respect us, I'll make them! I will, cuz I'm Batpig!" 

            Wizardmon frowned. "You get points for enthusiasm, Patamon. I wonder…"

"Wha?" the others questioned. 

"I'm trying to think if I threw that bottle of instant gijinka in my utility belt or not."

"You mean that plot device you stole from Lia that'll make us digimon, for the most part, human?!" Patamon yelped. "Gimme!"

Wizardmon rummaged around in his utility belt, tossing out the Dead Wonder Grappling Hook, Dead Wonder Glass Cutters, Dead Wonder Stun Powder, Dead Wonder Smoke Bombs, Dead Wonder Hand Grenades, and the Dead Wonder _Lord of the Rings _Movie Poster before finding a glass bottle. A heavenly light suddenly shone down on it and a choir started singing. 

~*~

            "So…do you think we got rid of those damn Batpig things?" Wonder Woman asked the bartender. 

"Hulk hate Batpig! Hulk smash Batpig into orange smear! Hulk use Batpig's intestines for jump rope!" the Incredible Hulk said, smashing a beer mug for effect. 

"My thoughts exactly," Green Lantern sighed, tipping back another shot of vodka. 

Spiderman was hanging upside-down from the awning over the bar. "Oh come on, they can't be _that _bad, can they?"

"Sounds like you've taken one too many hits from Hobgoblin," Captain America mused. 

A/N: Jeez, how the hell do I know all these superheroes? I'm starting to scare myself! 

            Rogue, who was engaged in arm-wrestling Thor, glanced back up towards the door. "Hey y'all, check out the team coming through the door! They look a little scrawny to be superheroes, but then again, so's Jubilee."

Indeed, it was the Batpig crew…sorta. Actually, it was a scrawny kid resembling T.K. dressed in black with a hooded cape sporting Patamon ears. Following him was a girl, also dressed in black, with pink-and-blue hair and a similarly striped headband. And Wizardmon just looked like Wizardmon, only more bishounen-ly and without the cowl (or the hat…I hate the hat). 

A girl dressed in tight blue Sixties paraphernalia and black cat ears scampered over to them, tossing chin-length turquoise-y blue hair out of her face. 

"Hey, Pata babe, looking good!" she purred. 

Batpig-Boy blinked. "Wha? Shadowmon?!"

"No, stupid, Felicity Shadwell. You like the digs? Latest gizmo from Izzy Exposition, some sort of hologram-y morph-y watch thing. Gets the nylon crowd off my fuzzy behind, that's all that matters to me."

            "What?! You mean we could've bought a hunk of plastic instead of drinking that nasty brew of Wizardmon's? Where'd Izzy get those?" Biyomon squawked. 

Felicity shrugged. "Internet. Me, Gomer and Vee are grooving with the anime groupies that-a-way, baby, so if yer looking for a shagadelic time, we'll be there."

Patamon and friends nodded, ambling around the room for a while. 

"Well, so far nobody's tried to send us into a wormhole," Wizardmon muttered. 

            Just then, Patamon's head perked up, listening to a nearby conversation. 

"It's all your fault! 'Oh, Scarlet Witch is a pushover!' he says. Ph! I nearly had my wings seared off like a goddamned fried chicken and all you two can do is laugh at me!" 

"Come on, Angel, lighten up! A few singed feathers here and there, nothing serious. Not like Kai, whose whole head would've gone up in flames from all that bacon grease he puts in his hair."

"Shaddup, Reo, you leave my hair out of this!" 

Wizardmon exchanged glances with his companions, and they stealthily made their way over to the table where the rogue Alliance was seated. The pointy-eared magician was about to give his owner a stern rebuking when she caught sight of them. 

"Hey, you guys! Get over here a second!"

"Crap, now we're in for it," Biyomon muttered, trudging over with her male counterparts. 

"Now I've seen everything," the winged heroine mused. "Batpig Cosplay at our convention. Very convincing outfits, kids. Shame the real Batpig gang decided to forgo the con this year."

"Heheh, Cosplay, ri-ight. Um, yeah. Say, aren't you guys the Alliance? Haven't seen you around lately," Patamon said, trying to steer the small talk away from himself.

"We've undertaken a serious mission elsewhere," Kaiser Matt stated smoothly, fiddling with his violet-tinted Raybands. 

"Yeah, we've got our own fic arc, we're working on a website and some moneymaking franchises, it's all good," Reo the DarkScythe added, casually polishing his weapon of death. 

We command the readers to go read 'the Alliance' fics by us, the Alliance! It's worth the three seconds it takes to download! Action, adventure, Matt in spandex! What do I have to do, pay you? 

            "Well, we're going to…uh, get a cheeseburger or something. Nice seeing you!" Biyomon said, grinning foolishly as she shoved her partners away. 

"Cool. And if you see the winners from that fanfic contest I held a while back, tell them I promise I'll send out their prizes eventually!" Lia shouted, waving a piece of paper. 

The trio darted around a corner and hid behind a cart of Neptunian power bungees. 

"Now wait a minute! Why are we hiding? Shouldn't we be out there, doing whatever it is these foolish heroes do when they're not tormenting us?" Wizardmon hissed. 

Patamon shook his little golden head. "No, because that head trip you call a partner nearly gave us away. If she had said one more Batpig-related syllable those pansies would've walloped us to the next issue!" 

Biyomon blinked. "Is it just me, or is he making sense?"

"It's the human body talking, he'll go back to being inane at the end of the story," Wizardmon reassured her. 

~*~

            After that little episode the Batpig gang relaxed, enjoyed themselves as they mingled with the superhero world's finest. Oh, and the kinda neglected anime action heroes as well. 

"So _do _you actually have superpowers?" Jean Grey asked Duo, who was halfway through his sixth foot-long hot dog. 

"Not really, we just fly around in these really big fighting robots. Other than that, Heero doesn't die, Trowa doesn't remember anything and he doesn't talk, Quatre goes insane on a regular basis, Wufei can cow any opponent by yelling at them and making them feel inferior, and I…well, I don't like to brag, but I have great hair and I'm the God of Death." 

"…Right, I think I'll stick with the American-made cartoon heroes from now on."

            Just then, the giant overhead projection screens flipped on to the Gotham City News Network, where the desk anchor was sitting at his desk. 

"I can't see over the desk! Either get a taller chair or bring the camera low…oh! Good afternoon, I'm Cody Hida with this late-breaking news update."

What? Cody looks very anchor-ish. Besides, nobody around is an actual news reporter. Ken's dad works at a newspaper and so does Nancy. The town drunk…um, Master Ishida is just the high-and-mighty producer of local television programming. 

"It was just reported that Pane, the evil steroid induced Gazimon whom you may recall appeared in _Insert Batpig Here, _has broken out of his maximum security cell at Archam Asylum here in Gotham City. We urge all civilians to lock their doors and stay off the streets, as this maniacal rabbit means business. There is, however, no need to panic, as there are a sufficient amount of superheroes in the area to handle this problem. For GCNN, I'm Cody Hida. We now return to _All My Passions in the Days of our Lives with All My Children, _already in progress."

            "Well," said Patamon, cracking his knuckles, "we defeated Pane once, we can defeat him again."

"What are you talking about? _We _lay in an unconscious heap. _Phantomon _defeated Pane. Remember?" Biyomon retorted. 

Behind them, all the usual superhero teams converged in several large group huddles, muttering to each other about their plans of action. 

"This looks like a job for…" somebody random prompted. 

"The Justice League of America!"

"The Uncanny X-Men!"

"The Avengers!"

"The Sailor Scouts!" (yes, they returned, just for some femininity)

"The Gundam Wing Pilots!"

"The Alliance!" 

"The Austin Powers Trio!"

"…Everybody…else?!"

Patamon coughed. "Batpig?"

Now, I'm pretty sure I covered everybody, considering just how big and all-encompassing the Justice League, the X-Men, and the Avengers are. So, with that, the large hoard of superheroes clamored out of the convention hall and into the streets, where that bunny of immorality was laughing in his bad Spanish-y way. 

"MWAHAHAHAHAHA! So, thees time I weel be fighting not wan super heero but many. Eet ees no problem for Pane, for I weel (yes, this again) CRRAAUSH YOU ALL!" 

Fallen Angel (yes, me) sighed. "It was as annoying the first time as it is now."

"But thees time, I haf a secret weapon that weel destroy you, every last wan of you!" he continued on in his Luchadores-lampooning accent. 

Yolei, evil mastermind of Gotham City, appeared out of a nearby Radio Shack waving a package of nine-volt batteries. She ducked under a large bed sheet concealing the 'secret weapon' and popped them into whatever battery compartment it had. 

            "And now, super heeroes, you weel die by my paws! Unleesh el secret weapon, por favor!" 

Yolei pulled back the sheet, revealing some large contraption, which, upon careful examination, one could see is just a bunch of random useless objects thrown together with duct tape and a few wads of chewing gum. 

"Ah, what exactly are we dealing with here? I _am _the legally blind superhero, remember?" Daredevil asked. 

"Eet ees…what ees eet again, Jólee?" 

"Eet…I mean, it is a plot device!" she said, throwing her empty little head back and laughing maniacally. 

"Any idiot with a fanfiction.net account can see that!" Reo snapped. 

Yolei grinned. "Yes, but do you know what it does?" 

"Do we want to know what it doesh?" Aushtin…sorry, Austin Veemon quipped. 

Pane (whom we established last time is not a blatant rip-off of Bane) chuckled hispanically. 

"Go ahead and tell them, Jólee!" 

            "Well…um…it…it makes you not super! Yeah, that's it! You'll be so un-super, you'll be almost Cody!" to her rabbit coconspirator she whispered, "And why didn't I get to make this a Ranma 1/2 machine?" 

"Because eet wouldn't haf worked on all of thees superheroes. Chu see?"

Robin the Boy Wonder shrugged. "We're not super anyways, we just have a lot of stuff. So…nothing's going to happen."

"Yes it will!" Yolei retorted. "You'll be un-super! There will be no super-ness to you! You will be Cody-ish, I say, Cody-ish!" 

Hikaru glanced at Umi and Fuu. "Should we summon the Rune Gods now, or wait?"

"…Wait."

Tamahome exchanged glances with the other Suzaku Seven. "So…what? Hotohori, would you stop flirting with yourself in the mirror for one minute?"

"Can we help it if we are too beautiful for words?"

That was you standard obligatory anime moment. Brought to you by Batpig. 

       Gambit rushed forward, half a deck of cards in his knuckles. 

"Gambit's gonna give y'all a taste of Creole jambalaya!" 

But before our Cajun X-dude could do anything, the brilliantly evil Yolei turned on her ray, making Gambit…normal. 

"Gambit, sugar, what's got into you?" Rogue asked, one yellow-gloved hand on her hip. 

"I have a bloody headache, my dear Rogue."

Supergirl swore. "He's not talking in the third person anymore! We're screwed!" 

And so Yolei unleashed her weapon of mass Cody-ness upon the many heroes, making them about as intimidating as cauliflower. The Batpig team managed to escape with a little help from Sue, the Fantastic Four's Invisible Woman, right before she turned into a June Cleaver. And, worst of all, Matt's NOT ANGSTY! THE HORROR! As for the Austin Powers Trio, well, they were turned into cheaply manufactured action figures made in Taiwan. 

"Dammit, we're doomed!" Biyomon hissed from inside the dumpster the gang was hiding in. "Pane's gonna kill us all. He's probably smashing Superman into a pulp right now and what are we going to do because we can't do anything!" 

Patamon ignored her. "We're going to be all right. Wizardmon, what do we have that we can use against Yolei?"

Wizardmon checked his utility belt which, for the most part, has all the useful tools. 

"Nothing that I can see…so far. I could build a counter-ray, if we had time and the parts."

Patamon thought for a moment. "Are the Gundams still functioning?"

"I believe nothing happened to them."

"We could steal parts from Nataku. Wufei's become a Green Peace pacifist, so I don't think he'll miss bits and pieces from the Bright Green Pleasure Machine."

            Biyomon glared at him. "Why is it you act like a complete idiot during both seasons AND most Batpig Adventures, but when our backs are to the wall you smarten up? WHY?" 

Patamon shrugged, toying with the winged hood on his head. "Because otherwise the fans wouldn't respect me."

"Enough, the both of you. See if you can distract them while I build the antimatter displacement device," Wizardmon scolded, pulling out a Dead Wonder Spot Welder. 

"Hey…wait a sec, I just thought of something," Patamon said, his adorably big blue eyes narrowed. "If Lia's all normal and boring, then who's writing the fanfic?"

"Yeah! Who _is _writing the fanfic?" Biyomon echoed. 

Just your average neighborhood genius. 

_And his favorite goggle-wearing Muse! _

"Ken? And Davis? Writing a Batpig fanfic? DOES THIS STORY GET ANY WEIRDER?" Biyomon hollered. 

Davis is my Muse; of course it's going to get weirder. 

"Makes sense. C'mon, Biyomon, time to do our motto," Patamon sighed, picking the coffee grounds off of his costume. 

~*~

            "All right, Pane, I've systematically rendered all heroes in the vicinity helpless. You can go ahead and claim Gotham City now. Lay waste to it, do whatever you want, just make sure I get what I want."

"And that ees?"

"Ken, of course. I had him in my grasp and then wham! The fecking authors switch to Kensuke! I don't even get Willis because she co-ops with a _guy _who claims him! I will rightfully take what is mine!" 

_*mutters* Not if this Muse can help it. _

"As long as I can CRAUSH THE BATPEEG AND HEES MUCHACHOS! THE SEETEE WEEL BE MINE! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Just then an ominous figure appeared on the flagpole above the Gotham City Starbucks (one of many). 

"Not today you won't! For I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the defender of the defenseless and the protector of the unprotected! I am Batpig!"

"And I'm Batpig Girl!"

            Yolei blinked, took her glasses off, wiped them down, replaced them, and blinked again. 

"You're not a bologna sausage. In fact, you're a bishounen! What the hell?"

Pane cracked the knuckles on his meaty paws. "I WEEL CRAUSH YOU!" 

Batpig grinned. "You'll have to catch me first, amigo!" 

And with that, he did a nimble flip off the flagpole, using one of those nifty Batpig Grappling Guns to swing across the street and atop a window washer's basket lift. Batpig Girl fired off a couple Batpigarangs at Yolei, who caught them with her face. Meanwhile, Wizardmon was working as quickly as he could to assemble some sort of counter-ray with supplies he found in his utility belt…because if he found the actual device in there then there wouldn't be any action, would there? 

            "YOU WEEL DIE, PEEGBAT BOY!" 

"Hello? Just because I'm pretty much human doesn't mean I'm not Batpig! Now, why did you leave Archam? Right now it looks to me like Yolei's the villainess of the day!"

"Jólee leeberated me from that preeson, I owed eet to her. As for my master plan, waunce I craush you, we veelains can take over the seetee and haf everything we waunt."

"Haven't you ever heard that money doesn't buy happiness?" Batpig Girl retorted. 

"Eet weel waunce chu are dead!" 

Batpig Girl swung down on her own Grappling Gun, combating the larcenous lavender-haired lady hand-to-hand. Pane grabbed the cables supporting the basket lift and started pulling on them, causing it to pitch wildly. Batpig panicked, gripping the railing for all it was worth until the whole thing snapped loose. 

"Batpig!" his intrepid female sidekick cried. 

"KEN! NOW'S A GOOD TIME TO THROW IN ONE OF THOSE DEUS EX MACHINA THINGS!" our hero hollered as he went plummeting to the sidewalk. 

            Wizardmon appeared out of nowhere, plucking our hero out of the falling lift just as it crashed to the ground in a tangled mess of metal and wires. 

"Forget I was around, Yolei?" he asked, smirking. 

"Holy Hawkmon!" she gawked. "You're absolutely gorgeous!" 

"DAMN WEEZARDMON! I WEEL--"

"Yeah, yeah, crush him, we know," Batpig Girl sighed boredly. 

"How dare chu mock Pane! I weel keel you now!" he roared, picking up a hunk of pavement out of the road and tossing it effortlessly at our heroes. They were instantly pinned. 

"Crud," Batpig muttered, squirming under the large patch of asphalt. 

            Yolei walked over, her big scary ray gun humming in the background. 

"So…do you want me to blast them into normal-ness before you destroy them or are you just going to snap their spinal cords?"

"CRAUSH THE BATPEEGS!" 

"Point well taken. I bid you a fond farewell, Bat Losers, I'll think of your pitiful screams as we take over Gotham City and the rest of the world. Oh, and if you're listening, Author, it's no use trying to use some sort of gimmicky plot device to save yourself and everyone else. It's too late now."

Really? I believe you forgot something, Yolei. 

"No, Kenny, I don't think I did. All the superheroes have been reduced to the same blandness as white rice, Batpig and his partners have been rendered immobile, and you're just the kid that types the story. I think we've won."

            "Think again!" 

Our villainous duo (not Duo) glanced around quickly, trying to find the owners of the previously spoken jibe. A group of costumed heroes materialized before their very eyes, looking daunting and fearless. 

"What the hell ees thees? Who are chu?" 

"The League of Super Authors!" cried the dynamic quartet. 

"Super Hurricane!" 

"Anorexic Chibi!"

"King Weregarurumon!"

"And Crayon Person!"

_Dude, Yolei, you totally forgot these guys won that Batpig contest thing like months ago. They were due for an appearance. _

"Dammit! Curse you, Lia, and your gimmicky gimmicks! Pane, destroy the authors and I'll destroy the pig!" 

            Our recent addition of heroes looked highly amused. 

"Yeah, sure you will," Super Hurricane chuckled. 

"We will vanquish you with our awesome, mighty powers of author-ness and protect the posterity of fanfiction.net and that means kicking your can!" Crayon Person said brightly.  

Yolei glared at them (see her glaring?). "With what? Laptops of Justice?"

King Weregarurumon shook his head. "Naïve little Yolei, we shall smite you with our…Super Gigantically Awesome PLOT DEVICES!" 

And yes, they hauled out the big guns! With said weapons, they made the massive chunk of asphalt vanish and took over the fanfic so Ken and Davis could go get a coffee and go sledding with Willis. With Batpig and company free, Wizardmon could administer his Dead Wonderful anti-anti-superpower…thing to the other heroes so they were once again super (and Matt was angsty again, hooray). 

            "Eet does not matter. I weel steel CRAUSH YOU ALL!" Pane laughed, boldly charging into the thick of the massive swarm of heroes. 

"Oh, for the love of MagnaAngemon just shut up!" Batpig groaned, grabbing Pane by the tubes that pumped the steroidal fluids into his system, completely yanking them out and rendering the muscular rabbit to nothing more than your average household Gazimon. 

"As for you, Yolei…" the Super Authors said, cracking their knuckles. 

"I think I'll start on a 'Day in the Digiworld, Season Two.' Maybe bring Poly back and make you turn off of boys," Crayon Person said, cackling slightly. 

"Nah, that's not sadistic enough. How about some sick yuri pairing? Arukenimon, perhaps? How's about Silphymon?" Anorexic Chibi suggested. 

"Would Silphymon make it count as a threesome?" Super Hurricane asked. 

"Ah…um…I best be going. I think I have to…uh…give Aquilamon a bath tonight. Ciao!" she said quickly, taking off into the underbelly of Gotham. 

Commissioner Takenouchi conveniently showed up with a couple squad cars to take Pane and the hokey Yolei-invented contraption away. 

            "So…it was Batpig all along," the Flash pointed out. 

"Oh, would you all just freaking get over it? Batpig saved the bloody city, and all of your shagadelic behinds! So just sit on it and the bloody pig alone!" Felicity Shadwell shrieked. 

Patamon blushed. "Well, I couldn't have done it without the League of Super Authors…hey! Where'd they go?"

The heroic fanfic writers had proceeded to crowd around Lia and her Alliance cronies, making said author terribly embarrassed. 

"Stop, guys! I'm not _that _great. Just slightly neurotic."

"She's got that right," Reo muttered. 

Patamon sweatdropped. "After all that, after all my hard work, I don't get any recognition for any of it?" 

Batgirl minced over, kissing our hero on the cheek. "Thanks for saving us, Batpig. You can come chill at our cave any time."

"Yeah! Let's hear it for Batpig!" Quatre cried. 

A general cheer went up from the crowd, our heroes looking…well, heroic. 

Kaiser Matt approached the gallant champions. "Hey, we've got to get going. We've got our own problems to take care of, so we'll let you guys take care of things around here for a while."

"Yeah, if the Trio doesn't try and horn in," Biyomon rejoined. 

"You watch out for Lia, you hear me? If I find out you let her get into any sort of danger I'll have your head!" Wizardmon chastised. 

Patamon pinched the mage's pointy ear. "C'mon, Wiz, let's go. The city is safe, we're respected by the superhero population, all that's left is to go back to the Manor. I heard they're running another Lord of the Rings special."

Wizardmon's eyes widened. "If we miss that, I will tie your piggy ears into little knots."

"Ooh, Wizardmon likes hobbits!" Biyomon giggled. 

"No, Wizardmon likes Legolas. He reminds me of me."

And our heroes walked off into the Gotham City sunset, their fare metropolis once again rescued from the clutches of evildoers. 

"Wizardmon, did you ever put those Gundam parts back?"

"…"

"Wizardmon?" 

"Hey! What happened to Nataku? IS THERE NO JUSTICE?! THE AUTHOR IS AN ONNA! AN ONNA!"

~*~

Well, this was sitting in my folder since October. 

_Apologies to the Batpig winners, since we never said anything sooner. _

Many more apologies for the pointlessness of this story. 

_Thanks to Ken and Davis, for saving our hides. _

Go read the Alliance fics, we promise to have a website soon. 

_Yeah, with pictures and interactive stuff and maybe even online manga!_

You're getting ahead of yourself, Yamato. We don't even have a site. 

_…A minor setback. Just go review and read the Alliance arc, by the Alliance, wherever Digimon fics are downloaded. _


End file.
